To My Valentine: Listen Past the Verb and I Won't Hold the Blankets Hostage
On this day, 19 years since you proposed marriage, I suppose it’s entirely predictable that tonight, I will once again pull the blankets off of you.

OFF MY NOODLE: Valentine’s Day Romance? Save It for March
Candy is dandy, and jewelry looks cool on me, but I’d rather get them in March or July – just about any other day without an implied threat: Show me you love me, or else!