Like the robins, it's a sign of spring. They're hoping I'll put out some food for them.


A garbage can tied to a skateboard. All we need is a goat to pull it,
and we've got the remake of The Little Rascals.


My son pointed out that the point of the fake owls is to scare away the seagulls.



I supplied potty training advice at the Pull-Ups Potty Dance Party
in New York City last month. Darn it! I forgot my tutu.


My sister-in-law made this cake. If I'd made it, it would look
more like a collapsing igloo or Frosty the Snowman riddled with bullets.


Because what we were missing was an eraser that looks
like a young Bill Gates on his way to the computer lab.


The scouts got their "Showman" badge for this puppet show.
I got a hankering for a plot.


Now that's a Halloween Hangover.


Shortly after this photo, the fish died. Of exposure, I guess?


The light-up eyeball toy seemed like a great party favor, until I had five boys spinning them around in the back of my car. Poor Mr. Ferrari driver. He was boxed in on the highway by a mini-van full of kids swinging eyeball lights around and around and around....


That's okay. I'll just pretend it's an ear.


Er, or a crime scene on CSI.


Me: "What are you doing?"
Him: "Making a flight simulator."


"Look, Mom! It's Violin Hero!"


It's the New Jersey Duckharmonic.


Ah, Disney in September. If it had been full, I'd have been at the condo pool with a Mojito and a magazine.


And suddenly, my Halloween decorations seemed rather pedestrian in comparison.


Every parent has this photo at home.


"Look, kids! This is as close as you're going to get to the real Paris until the dollar comes out of the toilet, or adulthood, whichever comes first."


We might have found this amusing if we hadn't just walked "around the world" at Epcot, arguing over why all the other restaurants were unsuitable except for this one.


The faux badger hat from "Canada" seemed like a great idea until he stood in the Florida heat and humidity for a while.


Wait'll she finds out there's another bride in the same pink top at Cinderella's Castle.


If only they sold this in their many gift shops. I'd post it near my front door.


Disney World really is the place "where dreams come true"!


That's one expensive nap right there. "Hey kid! You're in Cinderella's Castle!
Wake up and be enthralled!"


Hey, buddy, don't sneeze or a whole day's pay will go up in the air.


It was such a beautiful sunset, for a moment I thought Disney had painted it there.


I had four five in my house that day, and yet when I saw this turkey mom with 11 babies, I felt like a slacker.


This is my fault.
I had told them to sit at a table,
but I never said the same table. Duh, Mom.


Princess always knew how to party.


And yet, he doesn't get to drive it for six more years.


This cost me a pizza.


Flipping open the religion camp booklet...


...and you see that somebody's got something to say at confession this week.


And the rainbow leads to...the supermarket?


Don't tell the boys they're wearing dresses.


They only had pink paint. So they called it the "Man Machine" to make up for it.


There was a time when I'd be thrilled to discover that George Thorogood was playing right outside my hotel window. This wasn't one of those times.


Just like feeding time at our house.


Thanks to my cousins for the awesome seats at Camden Yards.
Thanks to the Orioles for beating the Red Sox, who had more fans in the stadium and were, frankly, a little cocky until they lost.


The biathlon started with such hope and determination, and ended with one guy getting a medal for bringing the beer.


Daddy won another medal. There's been no living with him since.


Uh. This is supposed to be a "Blue Crab" collection at the Museum of Science.
Somebody's got to work on her letter B.


My son found some of the stuff that my brother, whom my father used to call "Stash," had collected and left it my parents' attic. So now we have an egg timer from the 1960's, a 45 RPM of the "Empire Strikes Back" theme, a signed program from a pro-amateur golf tournament from 1978, a stamp collection from 1981 and a signed photo of Tony Randall. At most, I could get $29 on eBay, but my son is happy.


We had nosebleed seats at the American Idol concert and yet, the tween screams were right in my ear.


I never got to go to the Statue of Liberty because my brother's third grade class was so rotten on their trip there, the rest of us never got to go. I'm still bitter. But at least I got close to this one while minigolfing.


Good thing he's a good fisherman or I'd never see my ball again.


We had the picnic anyway...once we found an overhang.


The kids wanted to find the pot of gold at the end.


My husband created this cheese plate for a picnic with his cousins, the Hacks. There are ten of them and all of their kids. It's a big picnic.
He wanted to write "Hackapalooza," but he didn't have enough cheese. Or patience.


I was supposed to take pictures as the cheese disappeared, but they ate it so fast, this was all I got.


And yet, I can't get them to take a shower without much cajoling.


At least it'll keep his hands out of the chips for a little while.


Perhaps they're talking about the meaning of life.
More likely, they're deciding, "Lobster or crab cakes, tonight?"


"Definitely lobster."


Um. Yes there are.


Captain Fred's parking spot. Cute at the shore. In your neighborhood, though,
a little bit creepy-crazy. Right?


I am so done with that stage. Hey, you dropped a sippy cup back there.


Hey, buddy. Down in front! Speedos and baby oil went out with big shoulder
pads and Loverboy. Also, the Berlin Wall.


I had to erase that last horrifying image from my corneas with this shot.


And now, you, too, can have "Let's Go Fly a Kite" from Mary Poppins stuck in your head.


Because Mom is usually behind the camera. Proof I was there, too.


The zoo has the right idea in the gopher pen. I'd like to install these in my house.
It's much quieter.


The ball comes back!


Abe was deep in thought.


Um. Do they have that in a small?


Oh yeah. We bought them.


See?


Which one's Eat No Evil?


You missed one.


It's like Mad Max for tweens.


Please don't land in the ER...Please don't land in the ER...Please don't...


It's all fun and games until she starts trash talking the Wii.


What, no plate to balance on my head?


I got to my car just in time. Good thing, too, because I was sitting in the open on the ferry.


With the help of a book and some shoes, it found its way out the door.


I have no idea how it got into the house in the first place. Hmmmm.


But now, I keep a bat removal system on my desk, just in case.


The official kick-off of the Summer of 2008. Who's got a towel?


Welcome, baseball season. Come on in.


I wonder who taught my kids how to spit?


"Mom! Aaron's bike broke down the street!"


Today, frogging. Twenty years from now, a place to keep the beer cold.


Apparently, this is the result of the Cub Scouts' project: Architectural Disasters.


I saw this in a Hallmark store on Mother's Day weekend.
When you care enough to send the very best...


Spotted on the West Side Highway in Manhattan. Don't worry. I did.


150 kids. 150 instruments. 150 milligrams of Tylenol.


The day I couldn't get my car out of the garage. Going my way?


Notice that my garage is the one on the left, while the door that opens belongs to my husband.