September 30, 2013
Perhaps he could explain why to #22 why she shouldn’t be throwing elbows at a team that named itself after gum. Also, dolphins.
September 25, 2013
And I hit the gas.
And I drove into the intersection.
September 23, 2013
Another question to ask is, “Are you mature enough to get past the part where an adult told you it’s up to you to decide when the time is right [to have sex]?”
September 9, 2013
Everything you need to know about surviving high school with as few emotional scrapes and bruises as possible is in “The Breakfast Club.”
September 6, 2013
This is not a photo of you. This is a photo of me.
August 23, 2013
This particular home invasion inventory sheet included the words, “We are one big happy family!”
Good for you. Now keep it to yourself. Also, bite me.
August 19, 2013
It sort of flew out of my mouth, as though I was one of the soccer players and not one of the soccer moms.