One of the biggest regrets I have as a sometimes-in-the-spotlight mom blogger/author/writer is the time a photographer followed my son into the garage to shoot him on his way to soccer practice when really, he just wanted to get the hell out of the house and away from the camera.
The article was a wonderful feature about my web site ParentingWithCancer.com for a magazine that ended up putting my big ole face– a shot that my oncologist proudly shares with patients and doctors.
They used a bunch of old photos from when I had cancer, but they wanted something fresh, something that showed that our lives had gotten back to normal after cancer.
As always, I asked my kids if they wanted to be in the shoot. (They have been in magazines and on TV, including The Today Show.) One said yes. The other said he just wanted to go to soccer practice instead.
And yet.
And yet, I gave the photographer permission to follow him into the garage to get a shot of him tying his turf shoes. The photographer got the shot, which wound up in the magazine, but at what cost?
Watching the Gosselin twins’ awkward silence on the Today Show this morning, I could see the potential cost when you want to show the world you’re okay. Because these girls clearly weren’t okay with what went down on the Today Show couch.
Instead of protecting them from the burning spotlight, their mother chided them and spoke for them. Then she insisted the “continued exposure” in similar high profile interviews would not, in fact, cause injury to her 13 year-old daughters.
I’m not going to defend Kate Gosselin, and I’m not even going to defend myself. Her stakes are much higher, of course, because the Gosselins are former reality show stars and continual gossip rag fodder. As a result, their fallout is far more public and more messy than anything I’ve ever experienced. (And this Today Show appearance was an epic fail.) But when your career is tied to your story as a parent, it’s sometimes easy to do stupid things.
I hope she’ll apologize to her kids. After school today, I’m going to do that very thing.
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I’m so out of the loop; I wouldn’t had known about this if not for seeing it on your blog.
Anyone would agree that the segment was painfully awkward to watch.
BUT (and I cannot believe I’m about to defend Kate Gosselin, whom I absolutely cannot stand) I have had to sit in a therapist’s office while my child refused to talk about the anxiety that brought us there in the first place.
Or sit in a school meeting where she was asked a direct question and sat mute.
I do understand having your kid freeze and not respond, even after she agreed that it was a good idea to see the therapist/have the meeting/go to the class in the first place.
I don’t think it’s Kate’s fault. (Unless she forced them to go on the Today show in the first place, and in that case, let the Kate hating go on as it was.)
I’m with Brette. It would be nice if she apologized afterward, but I fear she focused on her own humiliation and ripped into them, which could mean anything from a “what the hell kind was that?” to :you just ruined our chances for a new TV show.”
Friends don’t let friends be on reality TV.
Um, wow. That was painful!
I agree with Brette — there’s no way to know what was really going on, and I’m trying very hard to reserve judgement.
I’ll say this, though: I don’t know any 13 yr. old who would willingly, without any kind of pressure whatsoever, go on TV to talk about what a great parent or family life they have.
I saw this also. It’s hard to know what was happening though. I’ve had to prod my kids to talk to doctors, relatives, teachers, etc., even when we planned in advance what to say and they were the ones who wanted the conversation. Sometimes teens forget how to talk It could also have just been shock at being in front of a camera again. They’ve been away from tv a long time. Or it could be a mom who won’t stop in her pursuit of fame (or maybe she’s just trying to make a buck – she’s got a lot of kids and I totally understand that too). Tough call. It sure was awkward though. And judging on her past behavior on reality tv, I’ll bet she was really pissed at them afterwards!