Somewhere in one of my blogs or books is a story about a no good, miserable day shopping with my cranky, whiny toddler in a warehouse store which ended with the following scene:
Checkout guy: “Would you like me to put a smiley face on your receipt?”
Me: (gesturing toward my cranky, whiny toddler) “Can you put it on his forehead? It’d be the only smile on his face all day.”
Good times.
Back then, we didn’t have Tumblr or Facebook or Instagram to post photos of our cranky, whiny toddlers and share them with the world, like over at Reasons My Son is Crying. The Tumblr account, created in April by a Rochester, NY, dad of two sons to share his very understandable parenting frustration with friends, has gone viral, attracting frustrated parents everywhere who now submit their own photos and reasons their kids are crying.
Some of the reasons include:
“He’s crying because I wouldn’t let him drown in this pond.”
“A fly landed near him.”
“Buzz Lightyear’s knee is bent.”
Hilarious, right? Yeah. Also, no.
It’s one thing to share your frustration about your toddler’s seemingly odd and often exhausting behavior with other parents, and quite another to photograph them mid-meltdown and then post it. It says to a child, “Your misery is for my amusement.” And when Tumblr is involved, it says, “Your misery is for my amusement and those of my friends and total strangers, over and over and over again.”
Greg Pembroke, the dad who created the Tumblr, said he never expected it to become Good Morning America material, but he didn’t turn down the opportunity to sit on their couch with his kids and declare he’ll keep on chronicling reasons his kids cry until “it’s no longer fun for the boys.”
Um, Daddy? That moment has passed. I look forward to “Reasons My Teens are Inviting Dad to Therapy.”
Don’t get me wrong. It is hilarious, especially when you’re spending your days explaining to an irrational toddler why he can’t play with your hot curling iron or lather the cat with peanut butter.
But imagine if every time you were sad, mad, or disappointed, someone laughed, pulled out a camera, snapped a photo of you, and posted it online. You’d probably feel like your feelings didn’t matter. Once is bad enough, but every day for, so far, six weeks, is a pattern that can’t be good for the kids.
Judge much??? If you don’t like it don’t look at it, but some people choose to raise their kids in a manner that involves humor and lack of coddling, if you choose to do it differently then that is your business but it is is ridiculous to claim someone else’s parenting choices will put their child in therapy… You don’t know that and what a judgemental statement
Wow Jen. Thanks for sharing that. It’s exactly why I think that Tumblr is wrong on many levels. Don’t get me wrong: I get the part about how frustrating it is to deal with toddlers. And the reasons are funny — to adults. But it isn’t right to mock kids’ feelings like that.
Thanks again for sharing. It’s always good to hear from you here.
True story: My mom has not 1 but at least 2 series of pictures of me mid-meltdown. (From 2 very different occasions.) Those photos STILL bring me great pain. I was in pain, for whatever reason at those moments, and she took pictures of it??? Her point, I think, was to try to show me how ridiculous I looked. But while my emotional expression skills may have needed some refinement, the fact is that I felt something strongly in those moments. I needed help, not shaming. I needed someone to understand, not someone essentially whispering in my ear that’s it’s ridiculous to share my feelings.
A few yrs ago, those photos got passed around with other old photos at Christmas. To the other ppl in my family, it’s a laugh. To me, it was so painful that walked out of the room. So painful that I have a sinking feeling in my stomach even as I type this.
Parents, don’t do it. Respect your children and their feelings instead.