My mother used to refer to our family vacations as “trips,” which is a nice way of saying “same s–t, different location.”
Having spent plenty a family “vacation” driving around until my cranky kiddies would finally, blessedly fall asleep, I totally understand.
So when my kids were little and people asked me “How was your vacation?”, I would say, “Oh, the kids had a great time!” And then I’d regale them of stories involving water park slides, boardwalk prizes and cookies & cream ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.
It never occurred to me to actually answer their question, because that would require me to reflect on a. how I felt about the vacation/trip, and b. what kind of time I had. But I’m not sure I remembered how to do that, as though the “I” muscle no longer worked, having been neglected for the “them” muscle all those years.
Their chicken nuggets. Their swim diapers. Their beach toys.
Their vacation.
My trip.
So when a friend asked me this week, “How was your summer?” I paused. I thought about taking the kids tubing on Lake George and about us ripping along on the Cyclone at Coney Island. I thought about my evening watching a magic show with friends on the boardwalk in Asbury Park, New Jersey, and my afternoon with a dear friend who’d just found a litter of kittens in her yard. I thought about my night at the MOTH storytelling night in SoHo, and the day I got to have my photo taken in pink snakeskin pants for a magazine (“Moms Who Rocked Cancer,” Parenting, October ’12.)
“I had a great summer…,” I answered, “and my kids did, too.”
Tell us: Did you have a summer vacation or a “trip”?
Someday I hope for a relaxing “real” vacation. We go visit family and that is vacation for now. Constantly trying to make sure that we find something for the kids to do, learn, not drive us crazy. I am glad to know that we have some hope and fun in our future.
We had our first “vacation” since we had kids two years ago when the boys were 12 and 9. We go to the same small Massachusetts town on Cape Ann every year, so they know the place. We rented a house in town (as we have done for 6 or 7 years now) and two years ago we let them go to the beach on their own during the day. We could see the beach from the living room, so it wasn’t truly nerve-wracking. The next year, we let them do it again, even though we were probably half a mile from the beach. They had the run of the town, and loved it. We read a LOT! This year, we took three of their friends with us (one 14-year-old and two 11-year olds; it seemed like a good idea at the time). All five of them were out all day swimming, fishing, and hanging out. They all had a blast. And we read A LOT! I definitely think going to one place and staying put is a good plan with little kids. Especially if you can find a place with some good outdoorsy things to do. We do take them other places over the course of a year, too, but it has really helped to have them learn the town we go to every year. We don’t worry about them getting lost, and the beaches aren’t crowded and don’t have rough surf so we never worried about them drowning either. So, vacations do come back into your life eventually!
Oooh. Spot on, my dear. Spot on. I think they’re all “trips,” by your definition, until the kids reach a certain age and a certain level of independence. When that is, I don’t yet know.
But this does make me think (again) about the importance of carving out time to actually relax on those occasions (whether they’re trips or vacations). Now, how to actually do it …