19 responses to “Just Once: Are You Dad Enough?”

  1. Sarita

    I appreciate the comments from dads on here- there are many many men who whole heatedly father their children every day, and th further away we all get from the silly image of an incompetent dad, the better.vcwe are all capable of doing most things relating to child care, and then we can recognize who has th magic touch for which things, whether it is moms way of putting the baby to sleep,cor dads way of humming and bouncing around, or playing or whatever. Which also makes me disagree with th comment above re: Dr. sears. He is a very connected, knowledgeable and hands on father of 6 who cooperates with his wife to raise them and support one another. Why can’t he offer parenting advice? He’s a parent. And I old venture to say a very good one who has ncouraged parents to trust their instinct and look beyond US culture’s limited and problematic approaches to ‘training’ children.
    And I do think that the Time title was problematic, but I don’t think the issue is the mom who breastfeedding her 3 year old. The problem is our culture that belittles nursing beyond th minimum reconnemdation and has no concept of what much of the world does in terms of breastfeeding. So what if the child can pour himself a glass of milk? That’s not the same thing. Heck, a 1 year old can drink from. Cup, that doesn’t mean it is embarrassing and ridiculousco still nurse a 1 yr old. I don’t like the hyper focus on challenging and comparing parenting styles (french, tigers, whatever else!) but I hardly think the mom on the cover is really the issue.

  2. Julie Clark

    Jen — right on! You’ve said it just right…as usual.

  3. Erin

    I think the silliest part of all the attachment parenting is the doctor advocating it is a man. If you want to raise your kids his way, that’s your choice and your right, but I’m Mom enough to make my own decisions. And when it comes to advice on the subject, I personally prefer it from women who have grown, born, and nursed babies and experienced all the hormonal and life changes that go with it.

  4. Stesha

    Jen, I’d like to print this post out and personally hand deliver it to certain people I know. The pressure that women face to be perfect in their homes and to the public is outrageous. As a mother of 7, if 1 of my kids has a dirt stain people are judging me. If the same kid has a stain while out with my husband, the masses sing praises: “oh, the kids were just having fun with daddy.” Sigh.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  5. Kathy Morelli, LPC (@KathyAMorelli)

    Bravo, Jen! Love this! Great work! Yes, lets stop fueling the media induced non-existent mommy wars!

  6. thedoseofreality

    BRAVO!!! I could not agree with you more on this!!! I wrote about this very topic today…differently, but still mentioning some of the same things. This would never be the headline the week of Father’s Day. Or any other week of the year, quite frankly!
    http://www.thedoseofreality.com/2012/05/10/time-to-read-another-magazine/

  7. Am I Dad Enough? Hell Yes! | Jay Andrew Allen

    [...] the salacious title, and are going all medieval on the magazine’s ass. Blogger Jen Singer asked a good question: why does mainstream media never ask if dads are “dad [...]

  8. Samantha

    Personally, I think it’s ridiculous that every once in a while I have to ask my (very ‘Type A’ corporate) husband to “babysit” the kids. That’s right… babysit his own kids.

    1. DadandBuried

      That sounds more like a personal relationship issue than a cultural one.

  9. DadandBuried

    I think a lot of this is an American thing (obviously). If we had actual paternity leave, and a better system set up for both moms and dads to parent AND work, like most European countries do, this kind of divide probably wouldn’t exist. It’s a byproduct of the youth of the country, the macho culture that still largely exists, and the inadequate healthcare system. Not to get political!

  10. Brette Sember

    Agreed! I was wondering the same thing. And when we were watching the morning shows over breakfast this morning my son pointed out how badly this kid is going to be teased when he’s older.

    1. Samantha

      Plus: it’s not like it was a model-staged cover shot. The mom’s NAME was printed and then she tweeted her son’s first name when she saw the cover!!!

    2. Erin

      How could a mother do that to her kid? Easy- it’s not about them, it’s about her!

  11. Denise

    Very well said, Jen! The thing is there ARE lots of dads like this (cue photos, which I don’t have, of my brother bouncing his son in a carrier, like, all the time, while also making gourmet dinners for 20 guests — his wife doesn’t cook). But you’re right; we won’t see him, or any other dad, on the cover of Time like that. And that, to put it mildly and succinctly, SUCKS. Hard.

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