When my kids were little, I used to get excited whenever I got sick on a Friday afternoon, because it meant that I might actually get to rest over the weekend while my husband was home.
Which is amusing, because in college, I used get excited whenever I got sick on a Monday because at least it didn’t ruin my weekend.
Now that my kids are older, I am only allowed to be sick during school hours and on Saturday nights — unless someone needs a ride home from the movies or Ryan’s house. Otherwise, I am on call for a variety of carpools, cross country meets and soccer games from the moment school ends until school until bedtime and throughout the weekend. So it’s better if my head doesn’t feel like a melon in an airplane at 30,000 feet much of the time.
But I don’t mind as much as I used to, largely because my kids are old enough to be mainly self-sufficient. As a result, I no longer have to watch six consecutive hours of “Bob, the Builder” and use cookies as bribes so “Mommy can put her head down for a little while,” or play with Tonka trucks in the bathroom in case I suddenly have to throw up.
So many people whine about teenagers, but give me a teen over a toddler especially when I’m sick, please. Here’s why:
Teens: Can reheat their own food.
Toddlers: Can reheat your eyeglasses in Big Sis’ Easy Bake Oven.
Teens: Can make and bring you hot tea.
Toddlers: Can make and bring you poopy diapers.
Teens: Can entertain themselves with Super Mario Kart or all the Mythbusters episodes on your Tivo.
Toddlers: Can entertain themselves by putting the TV remote in the bushy plant in the corner.
Teens: Can look up symptoms for you on the Internet.
Toddlers: Can share symptoms with you…that’s how you got this thing in the first place.
Teens: Can find a ride.
Toddlers: Can find a ride — on the dog, who is not amused.
Teens: Can sleep in, so you can too.
Toddlers: Never do. Admit it.
