Summer Break Distractions

I thought she was suggesting I take the boys to a go-go bar. Excuse me: “Gentlemen’s Lounge.”

When my mother handed me a section of the local newspaper yesterday, I assumed she was trying to show me an article about a museum or a soccer game to take my two teen boys to. She knows well that by the mid-way point of the summer, distractions are in order, and so she’s always on the look-out for something for me to keep the kids from killing each other us to do.

Except, these particular distractions had double-D cups and ”more new girls than ever!” All I could see were three ads for go-go bars, er, “gentlemen’s lounges.”

“Um, Mom,” I said pointing to the tagline of one of the ads. “Are you suggesting we take the boys to a place where the young ladies are ‘wearing nothing but a smile’?”

According to the ads, one of the clubs is located on Straight Street, which I believe is a bit redundant.

It also featured 50% off beer and drinks. Because beers aren’t drinks? I dunno.

Finally, it reserved the right to enforce a dress code — a dress code at a place where people take off their clothes.

“No,” my mother admonished me. “It’s the old-timer’s article.”

I flipped over the newspaper to find an article about some of the original Major League Soccer players, or “old-timers” as my mother described three men who were in high school at the same time I was.

“Oh,” I replied. And I’m still looking for a museum or something for me to keep the kids from killing each other us to do.

What are you doing to break up the summer break?