The faces were different, but the look of worry slowly easing into relaxation was the same. So was my message, and that’s what concerns me.
Last night, I presented, “Putting the ‘Me’ Back in ‘Mommy'” before a local mother’s group — my local mother’s group, or at least it was when my kids were little. I’d compiled five steps for getting yourself back when you’re lost in diapers or class trips or soccer carpool. (Been there, done that, still there).
The group of moms, most of whom had kids in kindergarten or younger, had managed to escape from home for an evening out with brownies and grow-up talk (except the one mom with the toddler who had to scoot out early. Maybe we’ll see you next year!) They are where I was half a dozen years ago or so, and they are the reason I wrote my books. As I told the group last night, my mission is to make moms feel validated while getting a good laugh along the way.
“You are all good moms, and you’re doing way better than you think you are,” I assured them at the end of the speech. One by one, the worried looks on their faces gave way to smiles of relief. And that made me worried.
I had asked them all to swing the pendulum back from the crazy, competitive parenting era that started when my kids were born about a dozen years ago. But in fact here were are, still worried our kids aren’t perfect, still fearing we aren’t good moms. It’s the reason we are laughing at this video, because it’s still so true (WARNING: Curse word…in case you’re watching with the kids):
Please, moms. Please cut yourself some slack, back off and see how you’re driving yourself crazy for no good reason. Your family loves you, so please take care of you. Yes, you. I’ve long said that you are raising your kids to leave you. So do that. Get them ready to be independent now, little by little. Meanwhile, nurture your other relationships, especially with Hubby. Go for a girls’ night out. Take care of yourself, and as always, trust your gut:
Share, share: What worries you?