I was driving a mini-van full of boys to a soccer game, when suddenly, I heard a girl’s voice behind my seat:
“Hi, this is Giana,” she said Valley girl-style. “Do you want to go out with me?”
I looked in the rear-view mirror to discover that girl’s voice was coming from our team’s goalie, a fearless and good-sized boy who scares the heck out of every team we play. He was making prank phone calls to his friends, first as a girl in search of a date, then as a Pakistani pizza delivery man and finally, as Jackie Chan.
Look out, Saturday Night Live 2021.
For a moment, I considered making him stop. I mean, if he was calling from my home phone, I would tell him to knock it off. But then I figured that if his parents gave him a cell phone, they must think he’s responsible enough to handle it. So I sat back and enjoyed his impressions all the way to the game.
Now I am faced with whether I should get my own kids cell phones, and I’m having a hard time coming up with a good reason to slip new phones into their Christmas stockings.
I had figured that my sixth grader would need a cell phone when he started playing soccer on the middle school team, but thanks to budget cuts, there is no middle school team. Instead, he’s on the travel team, and I am the coach. If he needs to call me, he can just shout down the sidelines.
Besides, when it comes to cell phones, I believe in Herd Immunity — the theory that vaccinated children will protect non-vaccinated children from diseases. I believe that it works with cell phones, too, so that when kids are out in a group, somebody’s bound to have a phone. I know that the kids on my soccer team borrow my phone several times a week (even our goalie, who didn’t have his last week.)
That’s not to say that other kids don’t need cell phones. My niece has had one for years, but her parents are divorced, and she has varying schedules and carpools. I know kids who have them because they’re on sports teams with practices and games that end at odd times.
But then, there’s Giana. And Jackie Chan. And a car-full of Cub Scouts who took pictures of their nostrils and e-mailed them to friends two years ago while I wondered if I should stop them. (No, I didn’t. See above: responsibility, parents.)
I mentioned to my kids that perhaps it’s time for cell phones. My sixth grader was thrilled with the idea. My seventh grader said, “Really Mom. We don’t need them.”
So maybe I’ll wait a year. Or maybe I’ll get an emergency phone they can take when they go out — one without texting or a camera. As long as Giana doesn’t have the number, it’s fine with me.
Share, share: Do your kids have phones? Why or why not?
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My boys (17 & 11) don’t have their own cell phones yet. We’ve told them both that they can get their own phones when they can come up with half the original purchase price of the phone and can pay for their own monthly service. They need to share in the responsibility as well as the privilege/convenience. No takers yet.
No problems so far with inability to contact us when needed. The boys are in Scouts & youth group and there are always others who have phones they can borrow. On occasion, I’ve let my older boy take my phone with him when he’s likely to be in a situation where there won’t be another easily borrowed phone available and I’m going to be home with the landline.
The plus to my sons borrowing friends’ phones is I can then capture friends’ phone numbers and am able to know who is calling my sons or track them down when they’re with said friends.
My two share a phone. We held off until my nearly 13 year old started playing for the school football team (we had budget cuts too, they tried to eliminate 7th grade sports but because the 7th graders are too old for the town football league, they just put them on with the other 8th graders and only got to play other 7th graders for teams where other schools had done this as well). It wouldn’t have been necessary except for my dh working nights and my FIL picking up my son from practice (which gets over at 5) 3 days a week and the schedule, for whatever reason, has the football games on Thursdays (when my dh works) and they have 4 away games (away as in a good 45 minute to 2 hour road trip) and the times they get home varies (I don’t go to the away games, we’re a one vehicle family) so he’ll either text me or call me when they hit the next town over from us so I can call whomever is picking him up (usually FIL) and let them know to meet him at the school.
We have strict rules we enforce with it though. I monitor ALL of their incoming and outgoing calls (I can check their usage on our cell company’s website, before the bills come out) and they know I have a right to read all of their incoming and outgoing text messages (same with their e-mails (dh is the one that bought them their laptops, which they’re only allowed to use downstairs where we can see what they’re doing when we walk by). I generally don’t but there was one issue last year where what I felt was an adult was e-mailing with my 12 year old claiming to be another kid… they met on one of those “parent’s don’t have to worry, the site is monitored and it’s ALL kids on the message boards”. yeah, uh-huh… the site admins were changing their tune when I sent them the e-mails my son had received)
I’m all for delay – if for no other reason than to save money! After all, none of these devices come free, right? And you’re doing fine without them.
That said, I fought the cell phone battle for several years then finally got one for my 7th grade daughter this fall. And I’ve been really surprised to find how helpful it has been to our ever-changing afternoon carpool. We have 3 kids in it, all with different activities, and her texts help me keep track of these rapidly moving targets.
We got her a phone without internet access and it’s a prepaid plan. So no data plan is involved. She got a used Blackberry off ebay and t-mobile got it working. We also require her to put it on the counter during homework hours.
Texting with her has been fun though I was disappointed to find that her first text to me that ended “kk” meant “ok” and not “kiss kiss.” Then again, what was I thinking?
So your seventh grader said they don’t need them, huh? At least now you know that when he *does* need it, he will also be mature enough to handle it
Also, I think that the picture on this post is just adorable!
Here’s a cell phone story for you…..
This afternoon I took my kids out for lunch. Just before we were about to leave the restaurant, my daughter (who is 13) received a phone call…..from the police. Apparently she had butt-dialed them while her cell phone was in her back pocket. We had to wait in the restaurant parking lot for an officer to come and make sure she was OK (i.e., that I hadn’t kidnapped her). She apologized, and I apologized….we were both so embarrassed! The officer said it happens all the time. I told her no more keeping the cell phone in the back pocket.
Butt-dialing the police….one less thing to worry about if your kid doesn’t have a cell phone!
I feel the same way. It is a want, not a need. My daughter plays up on a soccer team and those girls all have cell phones and the coach lets her borrow his whenever. She is rarely at a place alone so there has been no need.
I am considering a standard phone as well, next year, when she goes away for soccer camp. Otherwise, I am in the “no need’ camp!