Back-to-School: Between the Lines

To: Mary Lou (friend who appears to have it all together)
From: Me (who has a single line of stubble running up her right leg)

Hi Mary Lou!

Well, we’re back to school again.
(So I’m back to Googling fourth grade math and accidentally backing over hockey sticks in my driveway.)

The kids have signed up for some fun activities this fall.
(Which means, of course, that I have signed up for listening to a car full of kids sing the Sponge Bob F.U.N. song and make fart noises with their armpits.)

Madison even made the elite soccer team!
(And I’ve made three trips the length of the state so far. I’m thinking of creating an app that locates Starbucks and clean bathrooms in proximity to soccer fields. No. You’ve probably already created it.)

Jacob is really working hard, too.
(At cramming all of his Pokemon cards behind the heater in his room — 20 of ‘em before I discovered them. Good thing it’s still too warm to turn on the heat.)

And Hubby is so busy at work.
(playing Lexulous and tracking down his high school girlfriends through Facebook, it seems.)

I wish I had time to meet up with you.
(but I just don’t have it in me to hear about how you’re studying for your master’s degree while working part-time on finding the cure for rare cancers and toning your size 2 body with a $200-an-hour personal trainer who looks like George Clooney.)

Maybe after soccer season.
(which never ends. It just moves indoors, but at least it’s closer to Starbucks and has bathrooms. Note to self: Order snow tires.)

Hope to see you at Back-to-School Night.
(Which was last night….crap.)

XOXO
(S.O.S.)