Summer Broken: Put the Frog in the Woods!

With T-minus seven days until school starts, I have one thing to say: Uncle.

In other words, I give up. I give up trying to work and maintain a blog and write a memoir (well, maybe not that one) while the kids are home. Why? Because in the minutes it took me to write this far, one child yelled into my office to ask if the printer is on and the other, sitting in a nearby chair that does not belong in here, playing his Nintendo DS (free, thank you!), just announced he might have a breakfast bar. No wait, a breakfast burrito. No, more Nintendo.

I was going to write a lovely blog about a dinner I had with some old friends last week, but no, now I’m not even going to try. I’m not going to make a clever video that’s been on my mind for two weeks. I’m not going to do any of that until next week when school starts.

Fughettabout it.

I normally try to catch up on work over the weekend, but I spent the weekend coaching a soccer tournament during which I yelled the following things:

“Defense, pull up!”

“Man on!”

“Shoot it!”

“Put the frog in the woods!” (Because, you see, one of my players found a frog on the sidelines, but you probably guessed that, right? Every coach yells that one.)

Yesterday, I allowed my children and their posse of friends to commandeer my computer so they could edit videos they had taken with my Flipcam, just so I could hide with my laptop in the living room and complete an entire chapter in my memoir, “If Cancer is a Gift, Where Can I Return it?”. Barely. The paper clips that I keep on my desk took the hit on that one, ending up twisted and broken into little pieces.

I have filled and emptied the dishwasher and the washer machine and dryer numerous times, and I have seen entire loaves of bread disappear one lunchtime at a time. I have run over hockey sticks and buckets left behind my car’s rear tire. I have attempted to write on my laptop at the lake surrounded by a birthday party that apparently had the theme “Lord of the Flies” so my kids could get some fun in the sun.

Don’t get me wrong. I love summer, I love my kids, and I love working from home. But all good things must come to an end, all paper clips must be protected and all frogs must be returned to the woods. So I give up, and I give in to the final week of my kids’ summer break.

Uncle.

Some day I’ll write that blog about the lovely dinner I had with old friends. But for now, I will turn on the printer and listen to “Fossil Fighters” (free, thank you!) and then go hide in the living room until Tuesday.

(Well, I might post a few things between now and then. But only if you promise not to touch my paper clips.)

Tell us: Has school started there yet? If not, are you dreading it or looking forward to it? Is so, how’s it going?