I put this up in our bathroom because it matches the green walls.
My mother was telling me about the mysterious purple goo on her pants which turned out to be jelly.
“I had peanut butter and jelly for lunch with chocolate milk,” she reported.
“You eat like a four-year-old,” I replied.
“What’s wrong with peanut butter and jelly?” she asked.
“Nothing. It’s the chocolate milk that pushes it over the edge.”
“Well,” she sighed, “I don’t like vodka.”
Where is my TV show? Where is my “S**t My Mother Says”? You know, because I’ve been at this blogging and tweeting thing a lot longer than Justin Halpern, the guy who tweeted, well, s**t his father says and netted a TV show starring Captain Kirk. For seven years, I’ve been writing about the, er, stuff my mother says, my kids say, my husband says, the school officials say when I’ve screwed up — again. And yet…
The thing is, I almost had a TV show, or at least a pilot. Last summer, a TV production crew came out to my house to plan out a pilot for a show based on MommaSaid. And it was all very exciting until their money ran out and the show idea died quietly, along with my dreams of a Hollywood makeover and a swimming pool shaped like the MommaSaid logo.
And you know what? That’s okay. Because I have had a very exciting ride with MommaSaid over the past seven years, including appearances on the CBS Evening News and the Today Show, an award presented by Cindy Crawford while Hollywood paparazzi snapped photos of us, spokespersonships for huge companies like Hershey’s and a three-book deal based on my web site. It’s the kind of thing most bloggers have only dreamed about, and I am grateful for it all.
Lately though, some bloggers have been wondering why we blog. Amanda of I Am Mommy warned would-be bloggers of What Nobody Tells You About Blogging, over at Blogher. She called blogging a rat race, “a full-on competition to see who can get most comments, most followers, most page hits, most features, have the most and biggest and best giveaways, etc.”
Over at Mom-101, however, Liz Gumbinner disagreed: “I understand feeling frustrated–even envious–when someone else gets recognition or a book deal or a link from Heather Armstrong. I understand feeling competitive. But that’s not the same as blogging being a competition. Is it?”
I guess that depends on your goal. Do you want to photograph yourself making unconventional uses out of your ex-wife’s wedding dress with the hopes of some sort of quick rise to fame or at least some very public revenge? Do you want a multi-book deal based on funny pictures of cats? Do you want to get so famous so fast that people care enough to spread rumors that you’re dead?
I don’t. I just want to write. I’ve wanted to write since I was the editor of my high school’s literary magazine, reading aloud one of my non-fiction stories, when an English teacher — a full-grown man — laughed out loud in all the right places.
Whatever that was, I wanted more of it. I wanted to string together words in such a fashion that they make people laugh or cry or, as one of my readers recently told me, pin to her bulletin board something that I’d written and leave it there for five years. The Today Show, the TV pilot, the paparazzi — that’s all just part of the ride that ends where I want to be: with me at my computer, losing track of time because I’m lost in what I love to do most.
So, I won’t compete for the comments, the re-tweets, the mention on Gawker, the link from Heather Armstrong, the TV show with the bad word in the title. Because I have found that when I write well and write often, some of that just comes with the territory anyhow.
It’s the reward for sticking with it through the good times and the very, very bad, for constantly working on your craft, for putting the effort into getting the word out on your work without living and dying by your stats. It’s keeping at the heart of everything you do the basic fact that people are reading your blog, and that these people matter the most. To me, blogging is about building a community of folks who can’t wait to read what you’ve written.
Would I want my own TV show? Sure. But mainly because it would guarantee that I get to keep doing what I love to do the most…and get paid for it. This year especially, it’s been harder to find those opportunities without a gimmick or a flash-in-the-pan rise to fame. But I stay true to writing, because I believe that good writing still matters and that blogging is the ticket to getting to do it for a living.
Besides, my mother keeps giving me things to blog about, and I just can’t pass that up.
Glad to be of service. I just read that Chocolate Milk is now in as a “good” food.
See, Everything comes around again. Just think, Big Macs will be on the high part of the food chain in 20 years. I will still stick to my peanut butter and jelly just in case it comes back as a “good” food. Mom
Everything is just the way it should be. You have a connection with readers that most others will never achieve.
I sorta get the competition thing. We all want to succeed. With blogging sometimes the only remuneration we get is retweeted posts and more Twitter followers. (BTW, Jen: closing in on 10k followers is amazing!)
So yes, I blog because I love it and it keeps me sane. But I also blog because it makes me feel good when people leave comments or traffic goes up. I can’t help it, I guess. I’m just human.
Jen, I wish you had gotten that TV show, but I have no doubt that there is something else out there for you–maybe something even bigger and better.
I’ve also always loved to write. I’ve been sort of reluctantly sucked into the “business’ side of blogging, because I used to always think of blogging as something I did purely for the fun and joy of it, which was a little different from my magazine and book work which of course I also enjoy but have to do a certain way so I can pay the bills. But the publishing world has changed, and as a result, I am starting to think of blogging more strategically. Not as a competition though. we are all so different, I can’t imagine who my direct competitors would be. It’s more a matter, I think, of like-minded bloggers grouping together and sharing audiences. Kind of like how a thriving business district is good for all the businesses in it, because they give people a reason to keep coming back whether they’re looking for a fancy meal, a hot dog, a book, or a unique gift. A thriving downtown area has a specific flavor and the businesses complement one another but don’t necessarily directly compete. That’s kind of how I view blogging. I just hope I’m not the hot dog.
It certainly seems to be luck of the draw when it comes to blogging!
The competition thing? Dunno… don’t get it. We are just tryin’ to get by… I love what you said, “I have found that when I write well and write often, some of [that] just comes with the territory anyhow.” – meaning the opportunities…
I think many are in it for the “perks”, not really thinking about the effort and time that goes into writing well, writing consistently… creating a space that reflects the author and not a business… but can pull off a little bidness… I lose focus… And I would LOVE the TV show… something I would want… but my heart is in the writing and the community I have been blessed with as a result of finding this space. This is my true love…
Thanks so much Beth.
Beth is referring to the great book she edited, “See Mom Run.” http://www.amazon.com/See-Mom-Run-Side-Splitting-Harried/dp/1936005026/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276611936&sr=8-1
It’s filled with funny essays from great writers like Beth.
Jen-
You are so on the money and I feel fortunate that you shared your amazing gift for humor writing in See Mom Run too. You are one of the best humor writers I’ve ever met and trust me, having worked on reality shows, 15 minutes is not all that it’s cracked up to be. When brands are falling over backwards over the Real Housewives, you kind of have to do a gut check and say – I’d so rather be watching my kids play baseball and softball then be a part of train wreck TV. Keep up the great work as a writer, mom and soccer coach and always focus on the craft. In fact, I’m thinking I may want to take a creative writing course so I can pen a novel – or just open a flower shop. Maybe it’s write a novel about a flower shop. As long as I’m having fun doing it, who really cares anyway?
Love this!
Yay Jenn!!!
YAY JEN!!!
I never track stats on my blogs because my goal is to put solid sex ed information out there, and if my posts help even a few people, I’m a happy camper. I would welcome paying sponsors, but goodness knows I can’t pull it together to have camera crews in my house each day!
Well said. And I think that’s the reason why you have been so successful, and why you will get that TV show one day – you are authentic, real. You do what you love to do.
I think there are a lot of bloggers whose goals are only to get a book deal, TV show or sell their products, and they “have to blog” to get other things out of it. Which I think is fine, but when all different kinds of bloggers mix, and see what others get out of it, everyone starts wanting everything – and not even thinking the book deal etc. was the only goal and reason for someone to start writing on the first place. I think I got caught up on the things “I should do” to become a “successful blogger” and forgot for a while what I really wanted out – until I remembered that my goal was never to have my own TV Show, nor my face on a cereal box.
I’m glad you do what it is you do, for whatever reason it is that motivates you. You win me over every time Jen.
And anyway, it ain’t over ’til it’s over. There just may be a sitcom in your future yet.
I can’t understand the whole blog competition. I think my blog is “old school” in that I literally use it for myself – a web-log that records the s**t that I don’t want to forget (pun intended). I really, REALLY don’t understand all of the negative comments that people leave on the “big” blogs – if they made it to the big-time does that mean they somehow don’t have feelings? And why waste all of that energy on bashing someone? I usually only comment if I feel strongly or if I feel like the author appreciates feedback (you usually fall into the second category).