No responses to “Give Up Now, Moms: You Are Ruining Your Babies”

  1. theCmom

    Thanks for the post. Here is a nice checklist of things to consider when your baby is crying…

    http://budurl.com/cryingbaby

  2. Texasholly

    HOLY CRAP! That is INSANE. Also, I might add that “crying it out” results in one to five nights of fussiness followed by a LIFETIME of quiet whereas coddling fussy babies to sleep creates potentially YEARS of fussiness. So let’s evaluate the cortisol levels of my little scenario. HA!

  3. the crazy suburban mom

    Retweeted – I typed and deleted a bunch of things here and I’m just going to leave the comment at retweeted because that’s just nuts.

  4. Angela in Seattle

    I firmly believe there is a fine line between ‘baby crying’ and ‘baby hysterical’. I let my babies cry. One of my daughters often got tired of being fussed with, and really, honestly, just wanted to cry for a bit by herself before she would sleep. But you can tell when they shift from ‘crying because tired’ to ‘crying hysterically and incapable of calming’. THAT is when cortisol is probably spiking. You wouldn’t expect an adult having a panic attack to “cry it out” and “just go to sleep”. You would never be that callous. So too with babies. Crying? Maybe not so bad. Hysterical? Intervene. There is a difference, and you can hear it when it happens.

  5. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

    I firmly believe that on-going RESENTMENT is POISON in any relationship. If rocking your baby to sleep is working for your baby, you, and your family, great. If you’re regularly feeling resentful about how long it takes to settle your baby and how chronically exhausted you are, it’s time to do something different.

    I did sleep training with my four kids when they were around 15 months. One camp of experts would say I should have done it much earlier, so they wouldn’t cry as long. Another camp of experts would say I should never have done it at all. So what. This is what worked for me and my family. At that point in time my babies needed substantially more than a little cuddle to settle, and they seemed sturdy enough to me that *I* was able to tolerate their crying while they learned to fall asleep. (They all became great sleepers.)

    You’re absolutely right, Jen: There’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to parenting. Moms do need to trust their instincts, and children CAN tolerate and even benefit from coping with temporary stress.

  6. Alex Owens

    Wow, I’m sure glad Penelope Leach’s book didn’t say that in 1998! I loved her book and it helped me immensely in the early days of parenting. Common sense will tell most parents that whatever works, works, and we sure don’t need to be told we’re threatening our babies’ brains.

    Sheesh!

  7. The Mommy

    {SIGH} You’re always right. Just what we need, huh? More pressure? I have done cry it out. And I’ve used other methods (Ferber, sneaking yourself out of the room little by little, etc.). I’m about to try the whole process again (once our baby is FINALLY in her own room, thanks to remodeling). For the most part, I don’t let anyone make me second guess myself. If I ask you (meaning, whoever, not you, Jen, specifically) for your opinion, then I’ll listen. That doesn’t mean I will take your advice, though.

    I trust my gut. Our pediatrician tried to convince me that our NEWBORN daughter was manipulating me into holding her because she wouldn’t sleep for the first week OF LIFE without being in my arms. Sorry. I’m going to hold a newborn every time they cry. Period. And she eventually came around. But now? She needs to learn some self-soothing techniques. Done with love, it doesn’t really matter how you do it, as long as it works in the end. Sleep = happy baby AND happy mama!

    I really love this blog!

  8. Lana

    Amen! I’m the mom of a 2 (almost 3) yr old and you nailed it! We can’t win no matter what we do, so we have to use our gut in parenting. I’ve let my son cry it out too and he’s fine. It’s amazing that the human race has continued as what did they do without all these fine studies to tell our earlier generations how to parent? What we really need is a study to find what all contradictory information found in the earlier studies has done to the parents!!! Now, THAT might be useful!!!

  9. April

    this Dr Leach sounds like quite the character… prone to do his buisness by instilling fear into every mother in America..

  10. Karen Bannan

    Amen, Jen. Off to tweet this one.

    –KB (A mommy who loves the fact that both of her kids sleep — well and for a long time — because of sleep training.)

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