Back in the day, I used to post funny stories on MommaSaid under the heading “Potties in Heaven,” a reference to the question my son asked me when he was in pre-school: “Are there potties in heaven?” (Answer: “Yes, and there are no lines at the ladies’ room.”) For your enjoyment, I am posting some of my old favorites:
Where is it?
During a playdate at our house, I sent the boys upstairs and the lone girl to the powder room to change out of their wet bathing suits. It didn’t take long before all three boys were running around naked upstairs, shouting something about pirates. I settled them down and persuaded them to get dressed when suddenly, the girl appeared at my side.
Me: “Where’s your bathing suit?”
Girl, 6: “I put it on the couch.”
A Wrinkle in Time
Nicholas: “When do you get prunes?”
Me: “To eat?”
Nicholas: “No. I mean on your face.”
Me: (Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.) “Oh! You mean wrinkles?”
Nicholas: “Yeah. When do you get them?”
Me: “When your kids start asking you questions you can’t answer.”
I was driving my car when Nicholas and his playdate, Andrea, started copying what I was saying.
Me: “So, Andrea. How’s school?”
Nick and Andrea: “So, Andrea. How’s school?”
Me: “Oh, are you copying me?”
Kids: “Oh, are you copying me?”
Me: “I think I’ll clean my room tonight.”
Kids: “I think I’ll clean my room tonight.”
Me: “I sure love broccoli.”
Kids: “I sure love broccoli.”
Me: “I promise to stop using my sleeve as a tissue.”
Kids: “I promise to stop using my sleeve as a tissue.”
Me: “And to put my mom up in a luxury nursing home with handsome nurses when she gets old …”
Kids: “And to put my mom up in a luxurynursing home with handsome nurses when she gets old …”
Here, Nice Doggie
When Chris, 4, returned from a playdate, he told me his friend had two dogs.
Me: “What kind of dogs?”
Chris: “A mean dog and a nice one.”
Share, share, that’s fair: What are your kids’ Potties in Heaven stories?