8 responses to “NATURAL AS POSSIBLE MOM: Spanking — This Will Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You”

  1. Jolene

    I can see many points of this subject. I myself have chosen to not spank my child but that is beacause when I was a young girl and I was abused by a parent and was told once by a therapist that an abused person is more likely to become an abuser than someone whom was not abused. I know I would never hurt my child like but that statement lingers in my mind and I do not spank him or allow others to spank him. With that being said I am not saying there are not times where he has needed a spanking, I just don’t use it as a general form of punishment. When he was younger than he is now he used to slap or bite me for no reason whatsoever. He slapped me in the mouth so hard that he broke my lip open. I slapped him back and he has never slapped me again. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done but I also feel he learned a good lesson from that…. And so noone gets the wrong impression I did not break his lip open I only slapped him enough for him to know i mean business but not enough to hurt him

  2. Joy

    First of all, I don’t think what you went through was spanking. I think it was abuse. Hair-pulling, banging heads against the wall, etc. is not spanking in my book.

    The spanking issue is certainly a polarizing one, but you can’t assume that every parent that spanks is doing so out of anger or because they’ve lost control. It is certainly not my first choice as a disciplinary tool, but it’s the “nuclear option” I intend to have at my disposal if nothing else has worked. I have friends that spank their children and I was spanked as a child. I can honestly say that my parents didn’t spank me out of anger – they allowed themselves to cool off and allowed us to give our actions some thought before we were spanked. I know I deserved them when I got them, and I knew my parents meant what they said when they told us not to do something. Interestingly enough, I don’t remember getting many spankings in my life – a handful, probably.

    I think you’re making a lot of unfair assumptions about people that spank based on your own personal experience. Characterizing people who spank as people who enjoy the “look of fear” in their child’s eye and are deserving of your pity is a bit arrogant, in my opinion. It might not be the discipline choice you’ve made, but don’t paint everyone with such a broad brush.

  3. Karen Bannan from NaturalAsPossibleMom

    Rebecca,

    I don’t think you ever threaten with a spanking. Taking away a favorite toy, having to spend time alone in the bedroom, an earlier bedtime, no bedtime book, not being able to go to a favorite event or class are all better things to threaten with. (And all things I have used.)

    As for deciding not to spank: I think telling a child that you decided you’re not going to spank anymore shows a child that it’s okay to make a mistake, you’re a big enough person to admit it, and that you’re willing to make a change. It’s never too late to stop spanking.

    That said, I understand how frustrating it can be when they don’t listen. It drives you crazy. But I’d rather give myself a time out than giving them a smack because it’s their behavior that’s annoying me. They are just trying to set and test limits, learn about the world, and have a good time.

    Thanks for reading! –KB

  4. Rebecca

    I’m not too sure about this spanking issue. Because what if you’ve already tried everything else and nothing else works and the smack is a last resort and it is not done in anger but as a calculated move? I mean you warn your child beforehand that if she disobeys from now on, after she’s confirmed to you that she will not repeat the misbehaviour, and when she disobeys a specific request, a spanking will be next. It’s quite problematic really because once you’ve given one spanking how can you then turn round to your child and give teh rule, “We don’t hit back, OK?” This is another parenting dilemma to me. I am of the opinion that spanking should be a last resort, when everything else fails or not at all and it should never be done due to frustration or anger.

  5. Karen Bannan from NaturalAsPossibleMom

    My mom wasn’t an abusive parent. When she hit me with a shoe it was on my behind, no place else. The hair instance was an extreme case. Yes, I would agree that it was absolutely over the top. I probably remember it because it was so extreme.

    But I still say that all spanking is wrong.

  6. Tracy

    Karen, the examples of spanking from your childhood – getting hit with a shoe and a phone, getting picked up by your hair and having your head knocked into the wall – sound more like abuse. as a non-parent, I haven’t given it much thought, but looking back at the handful of spankings I received as a child (open hand on the butt), I can remember every button-pushing, drive-mom-over-the-edge misbehavior that preceded it. and I remember thinking long and hard before pushing that particular button again. I’m not saying that time-outs wouldn’t have been just as effective, but I think you’ve set up a bit of an apples-to-oranges argument.

  7. Karen Bannan from NaturalAsPossibleMom

    Thanks so much for reading, Stephanie. I appreciate it, and your kind words!

  8. Stephanie

    Bravo. I have thought these words many times, and I have a lump in my throat after reading yours. I have only “spanked” (even the word sounds too cute for what it is) my son once, and I never did it again. I was also hit across the face about once a week (can’t remember what I did, but I sure remember the consequence). I am sickened at the thought of spanking and am glad you had the courage to print this. I will share wherever I can!

    Stephanie Goddard
    Raleigh NC

Leave a Reply


six + 8 =