10 Signs it’s Winter, Mom

I wrote this six years ago for Parenting magazine (which is why it ends sweet.) Now that my kids are tweens (and — gasp! — one’s almost a teen), I’ve updated my list accordingly below.

10 Signs it’s Winter, Mom

1. You found three mittens in the toy box – and they’re all lefties.
2. After a month of constant play, your kids’ Hokey Pokey Elmo can no longer put his whole self in.
3. You wrestle the baby’s snowsuit on, and then he fills his diaper.
4. You’d gladly send money to help find a cure for Cabin Fever.
5. Your toes have finally healed after a summer of being stepped on by your toddler.
6. The sun goes down hours and hours before your kids do.
7. You wish the stroller had four-wheel-drive.
8. Don’t worry. The groceries stay nicely refrigerated in the car where you forgot them.
9. You’ve heard the two words that put fear in the hearts of all mothers: Snow Day.
10. Hugs are warmer when they’re wrapped in feety pajamas.

10 Signs it’s Winter with Tweens in the House, Mom.

1. You found several of your gloves stuffed in the kids’ backpacks — and they’re all lefties.
2. After a month of constant play, the theme song for Super Mario Brothers is now permanently stuck in your head, right next to your migraine.
3. You drive the basketball carpool to the gym and then realize that your scarf was caught in the door, dragging along the salted roads the entire way.
4. You’d gladly send in money for the cure to Cabin Fever.
5. You finally got the soccer field mud out of your mini-van’s floor mats.
6. You have to wake the kids before the sun comes up, and it sounds like you’re poking a stick at Frankenstein.
7. You wish the school bus had four-wheel drive.
Don’t worry. The groceries stay nicely refrigerated in the car where you forgot them.
You’ve heard the two words that put fear in the hearts of all mothers: Snow Day.
You’ve finally realized that hot chocolate is simply a conveyor for handfuls of mini-marshmallows, which make great blow darts for moving targets, like little brothers.

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