Here’s reason #213 why I should have paid for the expedited shipping for my father’s Christmas present. When it hadn’t shown up by last night, I panicked. All I wanted to do was track the package that had supposedly been sent by the company in question, but their customer service rep got in the way. Here is an online conversation with customer service, with sensitive information removed or changed to protect the innocent and what I read between the lines:
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Hi, my name is Ranjif. How may I help you?
JEN SINGER: Hi there. I’m trying to track a package, but the post office web site says it has no record of the tracking number your company provided: 910209186662095
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Let me try my best to help you with your concern. May i know your order number please?
JE N SINGER: 59488 It’s the photo box.
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Ok. Please let me check it for you. Have you received the other order?
JEN SINGER: I got everything but this one and a frame that UPS says is on its way.
CUSTOMER SERVICE Please let me check that also, thank you for that information….Thank you for patiently waiting.
Here, Ranjif pretty much cuts and pastes the company’s shipping policy while my eyes glaze over and I edit the information in my head…(as shown in italics)
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Since one of your orders is a photo gift, having a 3-10 business day shipping method, you can expect to receive your order within 6-15 business days, which isn’t at all what we posted when you decided to live on the edge and go with standard shipping 12 days ago, but hey, you were busy online shopping while blogging and rushing out the door for your son’s band recital in an ice storm. Next time, pay attention, nitwit.
Holidays and weekends are not included there, but we neglected to tell you that part. That will be 3-5 business days for creation period + 3-10 business day for the shipping method, or as we like to call it here in Customer Service, January.
The tracking number that you have is actually for the whole order, but since you have received the other orders that tracking number will not be applicable for the remaining orders, which means that I don’t know where the hell it is, but I can’t tell you that. And now I’m hoping you’ll give up and click off, so I can go get some of my own shopping done.
JEN SINGER: It says it has shipped. Each item has its own tracking number. The one your company provided for doesn’t work. What is the correct tracking number?
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Actually there’s only one tracking number for one order number, like I just told you. Pay attention.
JEN SINGER: Has it been shipped yet?
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Yes, it’s on the shipping process.
JEN SINGER: Has it left your company yet…Does the post office have it yet?
CUSTOMER SERVICE: It left the Fulfillment Lab already. It is now in the Shipping process. You can receive it on or before your shipping time-frame ends, which means, of course, January.
JEN SINGER: I’m still not understanding whether it is in your company’s hands or if there’s any chance whatsoever of getting this present for my father by Christmas. “Shipping process” doesn’t answer my question.
JEN SINGER: Is it on a truck?
CUSTOMER SERVICE: I understand, it will be shipped through USPS. I am very adept at not answering your question, aren’t I? I should go into politics.
JEN SINGER: So, it has not left your company yet then?
CUSTOMER SERVICE: It already left our company, it is already on it’s (sic, and it’s its, buddy) way to the shipping address.
JEN SINGER: Hurray! An answer. Thank you and Merry Christmas.
And yet, it’s still not here…Must be in the Shipping Process, but I have no tracking number, so Ranjif, you win, dude. You win.