If Moms Wrote the Hourly Weather Forecast

Sometimes I feel like Al Roker. I read the hour-by-hour forecast on Weather.com so often that I can tell you what it’ll be like outside when the school bus returns this afternoon. While the little sun & cloud drawings and the chance of rain percentages are helpful, I’d prefer something a little more personal and therefore, more helpful. Here’s my own wish for an hour-by-hour forecast:

Mom’s Hourly Forecast

7 a.m. Don’t let him wear the pants with the removable legs. It’ll be hot by recess, and so he’ll zip them off and promptly lose them under the picnic table by the playground.

8 a.m. Stick a plastic bag in with his soccer gear. If you’re lucky, he’ll put his muddy cleats in there before he climbs into your car later today.

9 a.m. Your feet are gonna freeze in those cute, but ridiculous shoes.

10 a.m. You wore the shoes anyway? Did you bring Band-Aids? It’s a longer walk than you think.

11 a.m. Told ya.

12 p.m. Remember to check the school lost & found for the sweatshirt your child just dumped under the picnic table. But his pants are intact. Congratulations!

1 p.m. The sky may look ominous right now, but don’t get your hopes up that soccer practice will be cancelled tonight. You’re going to miss Access Hollywood again. You’ve got Tivo, right?

2 p.m. The umbrella is in the living room, opened and acting as the door to a couch cushion fort.

3 p.m. Watch it! The cat’s fur is soaked. And now, so are your nice pants.

4 p.m. Mud! Mud! That’s mud approaching the back door from the school bus. Hurry!

5 p.m. Stop checking your text messages. There will be soccer practice today.

6 p.m. Told ya.

7 p.m. Somebody’s looking for his fort’s door. You left it in the garage next to the muddy sneakers.

8 p.m. Remember what I said about the plastic bag and cleats earlier today? Check before he gets in the car.

9 p.m. Don’t bother ironing that shirt. It’s going to be cold tomorrow. You stuck your fall sweaters in the box in the back of your closet last winter.

10 p.m. It’s okay. You didn’t leave your car windows open. But the garbage can is going to be filled with water in the morning.

11 p.m. Good night. (You might want to grab an extra blanket, just in case.)

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No responses to “If Moms Wrote the Hourly Weather Forecast”

  1. Becky

    So true, and so funny! My husband calls me Accu-Becky because of my addiction to all things weather. But if he read your post, he would know why I obsess! Thanks again for being so spot on about life.

  2. Dawn

    You made me laugh this morning – you are too funny. If only this could be true.

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